Social Paranoia

One of my bosses once told me, “Payal you don’t mince words, right?” He looked mildly uneasy about something I said, though I don’t have any memory of the topic of discussion. I sensed his feeling and had to tell him “yes I don’t mince words. But I have gone through a few unnecessary misunderstandings in the past and feel that’s a good thing. You will be 100% sure that I will never ever talk behind your back because whether I like something or dislike it, I openly tell people upfront. Yes some people hate it, yes they think I’m not diplomatic and also a bit insensitive or courageously expressive. But they are always sure of what I mean and that’s a safe place to be. At least, I never lie.”

It is a few years since then and I happened to get into a similar conversation with my sister which got me thinking about it a little more. 

If we closely observe, about 50% of the subconscious mind of almost all people stays occupied with the thought of what others may think about them, their appearance, work, voice, the way they talk, walk, eat, drink and the list goes on. Amongst us there are a select few people who feel very approachable to all of us, or shall I say most of us. We like them and can walk up to them to talk anything, for a simple reason that they are unbiased and carry a different kind of peace with them. So why can’t we all be that way? Does it really take much to be openly truthful and honest? Isn’t it nice to express what you feel with fearing about being judged? 

Somewhere, in today’s world we do not trust people easily. We aren’t sure if they really mean what they say and to what extent can we rely on them. Now, here some may argue that we are becoming more independent but that’s not exactly independence. It is some kind of loneliness that has started making it’s own space in our minds and most of us have started liking it in a fear of betrayal that may (or may not) occur. But still we meet people, make friends fall in love, party hard, travel with friends and family; and all of it feels right. Despite this a fact remains that we may not be able to (literally) blindly trust anyone and I call it social paranoia. 

I don’t like it, nor do I want people to. Someday I hope we shall have a tribe of all totally unbiased & crisply honest people who can be trusted with life. People who would feel like a peaceful home in the middle of chaos. People who would be like a cup of hot black coffee on a cold morning or a warm cup of oolong tea on a breezy summer afternoon. People who can hold your hand palm-to-palm and share their energies to create larger bliss.