Is anyone home?

As I opened the door of the house and stepped inside, I found it to be surprisingly empty. Pin drop silence and no light. My heart skipped a beat as a set of thoughts started rushing through my mind. I called out, “is anyone home?” No reply. I got a bit nervous and called out again, “mumma!” No reply; again. So I decided not to take off the shoes and just rushed in to check throughout the house. From a distance, I could see my father sitting in the balcony with his headphones on, listening to music. He hadn’t heard me coming in. As I walked ahead, I saw my sister’s bag lying on the small table near the door and she was quietly reading a book in another corner of the house. She didn’t hear me either as she was too engrossed in reading the book (something she calls as her best friend). By now I was confirmed of things being fine and went back to the door to take off my shoes, after which I headed for the kitchen where I was expecting my mom to be. She was cooking something that had a hunger quenching fragrance which brought an instant smile on my face. I sniffed like a dog and rushed towards her with all smiles and said, “mumma…what are you making? I’m suddenly dying of hunger…it’s smelling so damn good”. She just didn’t react to all that I said and didn’t even look at me. Didn’t she hear me? Is she lost in some thoughts? Is she angry with me? Did I do anything wrong? A thousand questions rushed past my mind and my heart sank. I repeated calling her out and she just didn’t react…as if I simply didn’t exist at all. I just turned back and saw one of my most beautiful pictures, put up on the wall…I suddenly felt awesome…and turned to mom and asked, “hey is this the surprise? Is this why you were pretending as if not talking to me?” But even this time she didn’t react. Something suddenly caught my sight and my heart stopped beating completely. I put my hand on my chest to check for my heartbeat, but it was missing. I ran outside to my sister and called her out. She didn’t hear. I then hit her and she didn’t notice that either. Ideally she would have asked me to get lost when I disturb her while she’s reading a book. I started running towards dad and stopped mid-way. I couldn’t even have the strength and courage to even walk a step further, let alone running. This time I took some really heavy and slow steps towards that picture on the wall and re-checked what I had seen. A small incense stick burning slowly with its fume rising above through my picture on the wall. Apparently, I actually didn’t exist. I dropped down on my knees and cried the loudest in my life…I wanted to hug my mom so badly and tell her that I love her most on this planet. I wanted to tease my sister and run away so that she runs behind me to hit me back. I wanted to hear my father shout at us saying, “are you both still toddlers to make so much noise?” But; I did not exist anymore and that explained the silence that my ever noisy house was drowned in.

I woke up with a jolt, so strong that as I opened my eyes I found myself almost ready to stand up. I ran to the tiny temple in my in my house to say, “Thank God, I’m alive”. Mom was up already and making tea in the kitchen. As I went closer, she hugged me and greeted good morning. I hugged her, as if I would never leave and cried. I told her what I dreamt and she laughed it off saying you are mad, nothing has happened to you and nothing would. I felt so good to have this assurance from mom, as if life ever came with any certainty. But, what the dream taught me was far more precious than life itself. May be in the wake of being busy and struggling to achieve whatever came to my mind, I was compromising on things that were closest to my heart. I wanted to tease my sister and annoy her, irritate mom and then console her saying that she is the best, annoy dad just to make him laugh later and so on.

Life is too short, I had read. But honestly, I never realised how short could it be until I opened my eyes after that dreadful dream. There will never be time enough to spend with our loved ones. Also, we don’t really know how much time we actually have to fit in our wishes, aspirations, creative pursuits, etc. Then why just get stuck in a daily grind of eat-sleep-work. What if I plan my trek to the Mount Everest and die the night prior to taking a flight to Nepal? What if I call my mom saying I’m busy and will be late, and meet with an accident on the way to not reach at all? What if I write a book dreaming about standing on the dais to talk about and die just before the formal publishing press meet. Strange, isn’t it? I don’t wanna ask that dreaded question (is anyone home?) in my life and for that to happen I live to the fullest, love to the fullest and do all that makes me feel happy and alive. So that, one day when I actually have an incense stick in front of my picture, I can gracefully walk up to it and smile. I want to be satisfied when I cease to exist in the material form on Earth.